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Monday, June 29, 2009

Poor English Girls!

As some of you may know I work in book repair at a small college library. A travel memoir called Thirteen years in England and in the United States by Mr. Yoné Noguchi, copyright 1905, recently came across my desk for repair. I read the last two pages and decided to reproduce them here for your edification.

English girls may speak love in blank verse. I am positive that American girls are far cleverer love-makers. They are born for that.

It is a mighty treat to see American girls always tastefully dressed. I am most happy not to meet a red-faced girl with a green ribbon around her neck. Poor English girls! I am not the first to denounce their poor taste in dress. They hardly know how to raise their skirts. Yet I am sure it is not because their ankles are not charming enough to expose. You must not blame the ugly shape of their shoes--boots, if you please. They are as hard a thing to find in England as the open-hearted laughter of the American girl. What a stiff, plain smile have the English girls!

Who says, I wish to know, that the English girl is as fresh as a daisy? Look at her dampish hair! She doesn't look like anything but a pudding. What fluffy hair has the American girl! I am sure it could pull an elephant, as we say.

How often, observing the six o'clock sight of London streets with the jamming girls hurrying homeward, have I thought that they were like the people of a problem play! Pray, compare it with the sight on Broadway. American girls' heads are always thrashing in the sunlight. They would readily make themselves as good a millionaire's wife as anybody else. The English girls' eyes are eternally downcast.

I had quite a many experience to prove that it is impossible to bring the English girl to an understanding when she doesn't want it. She is stubborn in the extreme. Her mind is already in a cast and may not change a bit.

The End.

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